dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Panties = found
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
