This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
