love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
