god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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