THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
