i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
