I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
