epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
