its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
