So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
