Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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