Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
