I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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