just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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