i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
