so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
