Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
