her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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