i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
