I'm jealous of your bromance
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
