if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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