But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
