we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
