yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
