i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
