I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
