Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
