did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
