Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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