make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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