I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
