dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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