I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
