I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You made out with two different species that night
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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