I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
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MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
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We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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