420 ftw
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
