Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize