The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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