I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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