So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
