It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
