I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've blown a few things in my day
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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