On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
