I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
