so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
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