Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
