I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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