Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
