Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
