Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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