Me too!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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