Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
