wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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