Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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