I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
