Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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