I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
