Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
