And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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