therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
