so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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