Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
