Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
