You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
