Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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