hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
